Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Duelling With Jello

When hurricane Katrina first hit, the documents detailing the cuts in federal funding for the levee system seemed to be, for the Left, the ultimate indictment of the Bush administration. It rapidly took its place as the centerpiece at a political dinner party attended by human corpses.

"How do you explain this, Robbie?! Where is your Republican savior now! Bwahahahaha! He's against gay marriage!" (Don't ask, that always gets thrown in there. My liberal friends are more concerned about my penis than I am. Which, while somewhat touching, is also invariably creepy).

My response from the beginning has been, "Well, it seems the funding would've made no difference whatsoever. The collapsed sections had already been completed, and they were only built to withstand a Category 3. Even if the funds weren't cut, the improvements wouldn't have been completed in time."

"Excuses!" they shrieked. "And did you know Bush is against gay marriage? Thought you should know . . ."

Thanks to AceofSpadesHQ, I've been directed to this article, a devastating expose on how Democratic government squandered funds meant for flood control and levee improvements. Naturally, I mailed this around. The response from a liberal I know:

It's also true that in a perfect world and the money was forthcoming and spent wisely, the levees would not have been done in time to stop this disaster - even if the repairs had started five years ago. . . Oh, and gay! Marriage!

Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?

You know, British humorist Mil Millington says it far better than me in his articles about arguing with his girlfriend. In this case, liberals can be flawlessly substituted for Margret.

An especially frequent argument argument, however, is the result of Margret NOT STICKING TO THE DAMN ARGUMENT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Margret jack knifes from argument to argument, jigs direction randomly and erratically like a shoal of Argument Fish being followed by a Truth Shark. It's fearsomely difficult to land a blow because by the time you've let fly with the logic she's not there anymore. A row about vacuuming gets shifted to the cost of a computer upgrade, from there to who got up early with the kids most this week and then to the greater interest rates of German banks via the noisome sexual keenness of some former girlfriend, those-are-hair-scissors-don't-use-them-for-paper and, 'When was the last time you bought me flowers?' all in the space of about seven exchanges. 'Arrrrrrgggh! What are we arguing about? Can you just decide what it is and stick to it?'

It's so true.