Friday, September 23, 2005

Pixie Folk Music Is Also Discouraged

I'm beginning to think I'm missing out by breezily dismissing the anti-war protests. But, hey, I couldn't even be bothered to look sideways at the recent Farm Aid concert even though it was, literally, three minutes down the street from me. I'm unable to get into activism for definitional reasons. "Activism" - from the French: a gathering of lunatics in dire need of a bath (hoses mounted on anti-riot trucks an acceptable substitute).

Still, the do's and don'ts of protesting make it all sound almost glamorous. This is not a parody. Some of my favorite bits:

Don't have a hippy drum circle:

There are few things more annoying and irrelevant than a bunch of dreadlocked Boulderites banging on drums while dancing around with erect nipples under their hemp shirts.

Don't have a gothic pagan chorus on the stage talking about mermaids:

This actually happened at the last November 3rd movement rally. It has nothing to do with the overall point of the protest. Rather it is just an opportunity for superficial hipsters to whine about "mother earth". They then leave to go get coffee and don't stay for the rally.

When the East Romanian Witches Alliance For Abortion Rights produces a herd of griffins, I'm going.

h/t Mudville Gazette